Creating Ceremony Lesson Two: And Now You Wait…

Ceremony and Ritual

M

iracles, wait

We are continuing our week-long teaching on Creating Ceremony. Now we turn to Lesson Two – let’s do this!

Have you ever had the experience of creating a ceremony, casting a spell or laying down an enchantment only to discover that despite your best efforts, attention to detail, and hardcore organization the work falls flat on its face?

Maybe it doesn’t deliver the goal you were hoping for. Maybe it doesn’t result in anything at all. Or maybe it concludes in a tangled web of unintended consequences that have you hiding your head under a pillow.

No doubt you have had this experience. I talk to folks every day who go through this, and I have experienced it myself. It is super common. I call it a ceremony slip. (As if your ceremony slips on a banana peel. Oops!)

Ceremony slip is also easily avoidable because usually, this occurs for one simple reason: we aren’t willing to wait and pay attention.

Here you are. At this point, you have already learned to banish (and maybe had a good cry along the way). You are ready to get started formally on creating a ceremony for a specific need or purpose, a need or desire to change within and without.

Now, most books and teachings will tell you that the next step is to state your purpose, make your prayer, and/or write your petition. Declare your intention!

But, in my experience and in my own learnings that is NOT the next step. That is what results in dead, flat, ceremonies that don’t change a thing.

For truly effective ceremonies that don’t fall flat, the next step is actually to wait and watch.

What I’m talking about here is active waiting, not passive, twiddle-your-thumbs waiting. Through your banishing, you have opened the door and cleared the way. Now you need to take the time to see who and what presents itself to you.

You are looking and listening for communiques from the Otherworld and your Holy Helpers (that’s the name I use to describe spirit allies, guardians, and guides). By looking and listening with care, you are entering into deep communion.

This communion can show up in a huge variety of ways. Some of the experiences reported to me include:

  • Dreams
  • Seemingly random coincidences that are strangely connected
  • Finding specific talismans or omens during my daily business
  • Communications from Ancestors and my beloved Dead
  • Friends reaching out with an essential piece of information
  • Opportunities that just magically show up
  • Direct vision and communication with specific Holy Helpers
  • Employing divination to gain clarity and refinement

Listening, watching and waiting is the part of the creation process that takes the most time. It may take one day or several. The process may take two weeks before you have the information you need to move ahead. Sometimes it takes longer. Some ceremonies are weeks, months, or years in the making.

Because waiting actively is the part of ceremony making that takes the most time, waiting is also the part that people tend to skip over. Traditional societies understood that planning and creating a significant ceremony will take multiple days, weeks, or years. It is a process that cannot be rushed, controlled, or plotted out directly on the calendar.

Those creating and participating in a ceremony understand that after initial banishing work, they need to find a way to enter into communion with the what we call the Otherworld. At that point, we are out of ordinary time and in that space of time-out-of-mind that C.S. Lewis describes so beautifully.

Cinderella’s version of this is waiting for the Fairy Godmother to come. She doesn’t know what is going to happen. She doesn’t know that *anything* will happen. But she has banished, and now she waits. In many versions of the tale she grows closer to the natural world at this time, often the first step in communion with the Otherworld. She does not state her desires until after the Fairy Godmother has arrived.

This is crucial because once you have stated your goal or desire, once you have made your petition, the ceremony is in full swing. Before you have struck any matches, made any songs, or done any magic, the ceremony is hot and going because your request, your desire, your prayer has been made.

The question upon which success now turns is…was it made correctly? Did you ask for what you really want? Did you petition for what you actually need?

When we wait and commune with the Otherworld we find that we often receive critical pieces of information and insights that allow us to refine our desires, goals, and intentions, so that our ceremony really does address what we need it to address. Succeeding in this, we can avoid those awful ceremony slips, and the change we create is actually the change we want.

So go ahead and let yourself wait…Fairy Godmothers show up on their own schedule, but they do show up!

xo,
Bri

magic, miracles: receive my lunar letters

ARRIVING on full moons each month.

Shining the Light

Lineage and Legacy

M

iracles,
​​
​​On Wednesday, June 13th, in the wee hours of the morning my beloved and I welcomed our second child, Heath Henderson Saussy, into this wide and wonder-filled world. The snapshot above is one of the first we took of him. He is held by his big brother Jasper and me, and we are all held by my incredible husband who is behind the camera. Though the image is blurry, it captures the closeness of our family and the feeling of these early days of getting to know this new bright soul.
​​
​​Many of you have checked in on me and us, sending sweet messages and gifts and all kinds of love. Again, words cannot do justice to how much love I feel radiating from our community. We are all settling in really well. I am healing quickly from labor and delivery, Jasper is taking to big brotherhood with his characteristic sensitivity, insight, and good-heartedness; and David, my ever-more-amazing husband, partner, and love, is making sure that not only baby H is well-taken care of but that we all are.
​​
​​The hours leading up to the birth were full of that stillness and depth that I have long associated with the most potent kinds of magic. One of the first things I did as early labor began was to call in my ancestors, for our lineage loves nothing so much as to welcome new legacy, the new stand ever strong upon the shoulders of the old; they are our foundation.

My ancestors form a colorful quilt around me – they hailed from the shores of Scotland, Ireland, England, Wales, Germany, and France. They came from Mexico and Eastern Europe. They were among the First Nation peoples indigenous to this country. My ancestors were all, with the exception of my Native American and Mexican relatives, immigrants to not only the United States, but the entire continent of North America. All seeking out the promise, possibility, and safety that eluded them in their native lands. And so, enfolded by my ancestors, and doing the serious work of bringing new life into the world, I was also deeply aware of the crisis occurring at the border, which, as a San Antonian, is my backyard. Aware, as I held my own babies, that thousands were having their babies forcibly removed from their arms because they too, like my ancestors, wanted something in the way of promise and possibility; something in the way of safety.
​​
​​Summer Solstice is today. It is the day when the light shines the longest, a threshold moment that ushers in the second half of the year wherein the light will slowly begin to lessen a bit with each day. It is also a reminder that though the days darken and the shadows grow longer, the most essential light is not the one emanating from the Sun but the one we carry in heart, mind, and eye – the light by which we are seen and the light by which we see.
​​
​​And so a poem prayer for this Solstice – dedicated to my sweet babies and to the families that have had their babies taken.
​​
​​Light our way.
​​Not away from the dark, but deeply into the shadows, carry us.
​​So that we may see into the corners of cages,
​​And beyond the barrier of barred windows and doors,
​​Light our way, steady now, so that we do not, cannot, pretend to unsee what has been seen.
​​
​​Light our way.
​​Into the tear streaked sands of soul and soil.
​​So that we may touch and hold the outstretched, empty hands,
​​Grasping at the thin air that is rent by the mourning keen.
​​Light our way, steady now, so that we do not, cannot, pretend to unhear what has been heard.
​​
​​Light our way.
​​Back to the place of firm and strong standing.
​​Where the foundation stones are named decency, compassion, mercy, faith, hope, justice, truth, and love.
​​So that we may know ourselves both as we are, and also as we can be – best and worst.
​​Light our way, steady now, so that we choose ever and again to show up as our best, even and especially when we see how short we fall.
​​
​​Light our way.
​​Reminding us that it is never too late to right the wrong,
​​to lay down the threads of safety, protection, and connection.
​​Threading what has been into bright and blessed weaving of what is yet to come.
​​Light our way, steady now, so that we choose to heed the old stories and remember the old teachings as we create new tales replete with hope and hard truth and love that endures.
​​
For those who refuse to look away, you can support efforts to reunite families torn apart at the border by donating to RAICES directly, purchasing these scents from Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs (with all proceeds going to RAICES), and/or supporting the ACLU.

From my family to yours,
Bri

magic, miracles: receive my lunar letters

ARRIVING on full moons each month.

Blessed be our Ancestors.

Daily Blessings

Blessed be our Ancestors.

magic, miracles: receive my lunar letters

ARRIVING on full moons each month.

Mommy Magic: 8 Ways to Celebrate the Day of the Dead with the Whole Family

Ceremony and Ritual

F

or soulful seekers who wish to honor their Ancestors and Beloved Dead at this time of year and who also have young family members who may be frightened by some of the more macabre images running rampant, it can often feel like an either/or situation.

Either you give in to mass market Halloween trappings and squeeze your more soulful work and offrendas in sideways or you go all out in creating your ancestor altar and alienate your children in the process because really, why do you have to be SO weird?

Growing up in San Antonio and the Southwest where we celebrated Dia de los Muertos and honored our Ancestors before it was cool, the idea of hiding your practice away from your family members or not involving your younger family members in the celebrations strikes me as a bit odd.

After all, for millions of people world over, Dia de los Muertos (and the many other names it is known by) is a Feast Day during which we honor and commune with our Beloved Dead. We remember the loved ones (including animals) that we have lost – especially those we have lost in the past year – but we remember by having a party and of course we want to include our children in the festivities; this is a family affair!

The Feast Day/family celebration atmosphere often gets lost in translation when we talk about this holiday – there is more of a focus on the somber and scary and less of one on the bright, colorful, cheer that we experience when we take special time out of our day to honor the ones who have gone before. But I’m here to tell you that the Ancestors LOVE a good party and they love it when the little ones participate too. So here are some ideas to get the family party started:

1.) Make sugar skulls. There are molds that come complete with instructions and there are even kits. Traditionally the skulls are decorated with brightly colored icing and colorful pieces of foil. A piece of foil is affixed to the top of the skull’s head and you can write down the name of the ancestor you are honoring.

Of course, you’ll want to make a few extras so that the kiddos can nosh away. Traditionally you would take these skulls and offer them to your ancestors at the gravesides on November 2nd after taking a bite from each of them so that, for another year, the person named lives within you too.

 

2.) Create an Ancestor season tree. A season tree is an idea I got from a Waldorf craft book years ago – the general principle is that you place some bare branches into florist foam that is nestled into a pot, sprinkle dirt over the foam (plant some wheatgrass seeds in the dirt if you are really ambitious) and then decorate the tree as the seasons change with appropriate items.

The ancestor tree is very similar but on the branches we have affixed pictures of our ancestors. Near the bottom of the tree we start with the oldest ancestors and then move up in chronological order, the crown of the tree can feature pictures of current family members. This is a great craft that also segues naturally into discussions of family trees.

 

3.) Build an altar. Kids love altar building for the most part. A traditional Dia de los Muertos altar is established in the living room or the dining room where much of the family congregates naturally. Choose what ancestor(s) you would like to honor and remember that it is perfectly acceptable to honor a deceased pet. Decorate the altar with paper flowers, sugar skulls, and your ancestor tree. Make beeswax candles with a kit like this to light upon the altar. Include foods that the people or animals loved in life and objects that you inherited from them upon their passing.

You can also incorporate seasonal themes into this altar – our Dia de Los Muertos altar always has a pumpkin or two on it! Paper or cloth prayer flags and some fresh flowers, especially marigolds, are all traditionally included too.

 

4.) Bake some pan de muerto Day of the Dead Bread – it is delicious.

 

5.) Put the Feast back into feast day! Create a dinner on October 31st or November 1st that honors the traditional food ways your family’s ancestors practiced. This is a great project that you can actually start early in October – get your kids to do some research into who their way back people were, where they lived, what crops they grew and what animals they domesticated. Many of the deepest rituals happen around food.

 

6.) Go visit the graveyard together. Demystify places of death by going to visit them together in broad daylight. Graveyard are fascinating places for children and in my experience, children are much more frank and understanding about death then they are given credit for.

 

7.) Speaking of graveyards, here’s a bonus: read the Graveyard book together – perfect for the season!

 

8.) And if you are in the mood for a family-friendly film about this time of year, I cannot recommend the Book of Life highly enough!

No matter how you celebrate enjoy the season or as we say down here: Feliz dia de los Muertos!

magic, miracles: receive my lunar letters

ARRIVING on full moons each month.

In Search of a Deeper Retrograde

Divination and Dreams

D

ear Miracles,

I think its time that we let ourselves get a little deeper with planetary retrogrades, use the time wisely, note it for the strange aberration that it appears to be. Most of us know that when a planet, say, Mercury, goes retrograde we should beware of various challenges and hiccups. We have heard the “RE” rule – that a retrograde period favors any activity that begins with RE – like review, return, repair, and rediscover. But many of us are far less familiar with one of the key ways in which our ancestors viewed retrogrades, which was with an understanding that whatever planet was in retrograde motion, that planet was making a descent into the Underworld and going through the Underworld throughout their retrograde period.

There are many reasons why the people who came before us and paid attention to stellar and planetary events chose to interpret retrograde motion as a kind of descent – I think one of the main reasons was the general belief that any “backwards motion” smacked of dangerous paradox and ambiguous or malignant forces rising to the surface and becoming more visible in every day life. (For instance, in more than one ancient Greek tragic play we see rivers running backwards as an indication that bad things are about to happen). To our ancestors retrograde motion was out of the norm, out of sync with regular and proportional motion and cycles, and as such, suspect.

For our sacred artist ancestors that suspicion morphed into opportunity: while others cowered in fear and waited for the heavens to naturally right themselves, the magicians and dreamers, poets and lovers chose to take the opportunity to align themselves with the planet’s backwards path and in so doing turned their attention to the areas of their lives that were in shadow – the places that are ignored, unseen, and unheeded because they feel a little too dangerous, too deep, and too hot to handle.

A big complaint about retrograde periods, especially Mercury in retrograde, is that it interrupts our daily routine and life. There are things you can do to address that concern and keep your ship sailing on relatively smooth waters. But there is also a needed flexibility during this time, a willingness to have “business as usual” interrupted so that the things we would rather not deal with but very much need to, can be brought to our attention and we in turn can have the space and time to meet them head on. After all, Underworld descents are always about finding blessing in the broken places – sometimes retrogrades show us how that process works quite literally and though we might be annoyed in the moment of having to deal with whatever, we would also do well to greet this time with profound gratitude and readiness for what might emerge.

magic, miracles: receive my lunar letters

ARRIVING on full moons each month.